Introducing Effective Newport 100s Plans

Newport:

Here is the second brand which is really continued the shelves as a consequence of university students. Newports are somehow the “classy” but nonetheless non-pretentious type of cigarettes (Benson & Hedges being the classy and pretentious brand), for people young-uns who still think that their habit may be worth $6.50 a pack for reasons unknown (in Wyoming, between $5 and $5.50 is approximately average price for cigarettes). To tell the truth, I didn’t even like newport cigarettes as i tried them, and thought the Marlboro Menthols taught me to gag less… but I’m no smoker, so what on earth the hell do you know, right? They cost more, therefore they MUST be better! Is sensible in my opinion. And once you’re a university student, trying to look cool, you want a high priced cigarette that doesn’t cause you to look like a stuck-up snob but is also menthol to help you smoke it without coughing much like the poser you happen to be.

Camel:

Like Marlboros, there are actually so that many different types of Camel offered that it’s difficult to generalize customers of the brand in general with about 20 different types of Camels available. When it comes to individual varieties of Camels, well, you might have Camel Crush and Camel No. 9, both of which are bought almost exclusively by effeminate men and roughly equally effeminate women. You have your Camel Wides, directed at people that want to smoke two cigarettes at once however they are too lazy to light two cigarettes or perhaps to roll their own. The answer? BIGGER CIGARETTES, for twice the purchase price! Interestingly, a great deal of fat people purchase Wides… oh the irony for the reason that. A number of acting majors I am aware personally who regular the store buy Camel Reds… and they’re literally really the only Those who get them. Definitely not sure why. And lastly, you can find the filter-less Camels, which, in terms of I can tell, are simply bought by hard-asses that like to tempt death and after that punch him within his stupid deathly FACE.

Basic:

I don’t sell too many of these, and when I really do, it’s to old people who make one of two assumptions about them. Some are exactly like the Hipsters who enjoy American Spirit and believe that “organic tobacco” constitutes a better cigarette… while it just makes me curious what inorganic tobacco is much like. Others are strange, confused old individuals who believe that because they’re called “Basic”, they’re the newport box 100s cigarettes. They are not.

Sonoma:

These are cheapest cigarettes we sell. Understandably, the only people that buy them are usually the identical people buying chips and soda because of their food stamps, then throwing together alteration to buy cigarettes while complaining under their breath that their food stamps won’t cover them or energy drinks anymore (discuss unreasonable, right?). Seriously, whoever has kids and uses their food stamps on junk food should be required to obtain a tattoo on the forehead that reads “I’m a dreadful person”, but that’s getting off topic (I believe I’d be devqpky54 okay using them buying gourmet food on their own food stamps, view the correlating post below). No one really enjoys Sonoma. They’re the Keystone of cigarettes … they’ll help you get your fix cheaply, but at what greater cost?

Benson & Hedges:

Only one type of person buys these, which person is the type of massive pretentious prick who thinks he’s better than all the others as he buys a $9 pack of newport short cigarettes. Actually, only one person in my shift buys them, and I hate him (begin to see the above reason). He can be purchased in a couple of times every week, and so i still don’t know his name, so let’s just call him Claude. Seriously Claude, no one thinks you’re cool for buying the most expensive cigarettes we sell, dude. Also, loose the pedo-stache.

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